...as I was starting to get nervous, I would wonder to myself if we were getting really close to this place, this Doctor's office that I know almost nothing about. It was only 7am, I had been driving since 3:40am, and we were getting closer to our destination. We had talked about this journey we were all going through (except for my mom), we were all very anxious and hopeful. We had stopped to eat at McDonald's, and were traveling closer to our destination. The roads were just starting to get busier, and the sun was rising.
...and that is how I looked and felt as we drove into the driveway. We had reached our destination at 9:05am, our first appointment was at 9:30am. Below is the actual picture of how I looked as we arrived at our destination, but let me tell you the picture above describes exactly how I was feeling. Scared. Nervous. Anxious. Doubtful. I was thinking to myself, "Am I going to exit this place feeling regret, disappointment, sadness, or will I be feeling Joy, Hope, gratefulness, and with lots anticipation for my future?"
So as I enter into this "office" and sit in the waiting room, I am sure I looked like this...
...until I was sitting on the exam table talking to the Doctor. Let's just say, I was so scared, but mostly I was hoping I did not just make a huge mistake driving 4 1/2 hours to this place. I took the 3rd appointment, and I really wanted to run to my car and hit the gas pedal as fast as I could. Instead, I got my rear off the chair and walked into the exam room, I sat on the table, and spilled my story. It was as if a peace came over me, one like I have never felt. He was so understanding and caring, as I was telling him my problems. I could sense that he had a heart for this, a heart for women who cannot conceive, because I think that he knew he had some answers as to "why not."
After my examination, I finally got some answers...
...my uterus was almost turned the complete wrong way, and it was extremely too low. It was sitting on my bladder, hence my very frequent trips to my friend "the john." He said the cyst that I have is very small and should not affect my fertility at all, wait did I hear you right doctor, you said cyst not cyst's!!! A year ago I had cysts, and now you are telling me that I only have one. I was so happy, because if he is accurate, that means that they have been going away!! The correct part of my uterus was not nearly lined up with my cervix, which prevented anything that needed to get into my uterus from getting where it needed to go. He also said, that my tubes were completely tied off, and that nothing had ever been going through my tubes, which means that was making it impossible for me to ovulate. When he told me that, it took me back to what my doctor told me last year at the Women's Health Center, she said I was non-ovulatory. Remember how the Clomid I took did absolutely nothing for me, and she was so shocked that it did not work. As I am typing this, I am getting very emotional. It all makes so much sense. So basically if my tubes would have been open nothing could have even got into my uterus. Also, since my uterus was not in the correct place, it majorly threw off my hormones, which is why my progesterone is so low!! I had two major things that were causing this terrible journey of infertility.
Guess what?
He corrected both of these problems!
He told me, "Lori, you could get pregnant this cycle, there is nothing standing in the way of pregnancy anymore!"
I was in shock, I was in disbelief, I was in awe of God's power, I was in awe of how at peace I felt, I was in awe when I realized people were praying for me.
He moved my uterus to where it needs to be, but he said it is very important for me to take it easy. No heavy lifting, no sweeping, no side to side motions, no jumping whatsoever, no crunches, he said walking is fine for exercise (I'm afraid my work outs might suffer for a while). He told me that the uterus is basically floating, there are a few muscles holding it, and he needs those muscles to get strong at the new position. If I'm not careful for a while my uterus might not stay in the correct position. I could barely sleep last night, I was so afraid that if I sleep on my side that it will go back. I was a miserable wreck. Now today I keep wondering if my pants are too tight, I'm afraid that might make it go back, my pants are not even that tight. I need to relax, and have faith. He recommended getting a deep tissue massage not more than two weeks apart for about 2 months, because that will help with circulation which makes muscles stronger quicker. How ironic that I just got a massage!! I do not think it was just a coincidence. It was God.
He said I should keep taking my progesterone cream, and my cycles should start regulating on there own, now that my uterus is in the correct place. I have been having 15 day cycles for almost 6 months, he said that is not normal. He wants to see me in 4 weeks to make sure that my uterus did not move. He told me that if I would get pregnant before then, I should get to him ASAP, he said I should not even call. His main worry with that is that my uterus would not be strong enough in the new position to carry a child, he said it would not be a bad idea to be careful this month, in fear of that. How can you tell a woman to be careful after 3 years of infertility! HA!! But I do know that would be safer. He also told me that most miscarriages come from the uterus being in the wrong position. That was just shocking to me, all of this was shocking to me. I just really wonder if this is it. Is this all I need to get pregnant. I am really struggling with that. It is so easy to get your hopes up when you hear news like this. But it makes total sense to me.
Today I feel sore, I have seen a huge difference in my lower abdomen, it is not bulging anymore, I always thought that was weird.
When I got home last night, and thought about what he said about it being possible to conceive this month, I just broke down. I sobbed. I cried for the possibility, for the miracle that we have been waiting on.
I know this is a very long post with lots of information. I hope it all makes sense to you. I would love to answer any questions that you have. You can e-mail me if you want it to be kept private, or you can leave me a comment, then I will do a post with all the questions and answers.
Thank you all for your prayers.
I could feel them.
I could feel the presence of the Lord.
He was comforting me.
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