National Infertility Awareness Week

I have been reading so many posts on infertility this week, it is so amazing what an encouragement and most of all what a comfort it is to have all of you, who know exactly how infertility feels, to make this horrible journey a little bit easier. So thank you for all your support you have given me since I have been blogging. Your friendship means so much!

Infertility has been life changing for me, in so many ways. We got married July 9, 2005, we both wanted kids, we were so excited to start our married life. One thing that I will regret for the rest of my life, is that I once told my Mom that we want to wait 4-5 years before we have kids. How shallow of me, how selfish of me. I struggle with that so much, I always have that in the back of my mind. Why did I say that, I had no idea that the yearning to be a mother would come so quickly. After a year of being married, I was so ready. I went off the pill in fall of 2006, and that's when everything went downhill. We have been trying ever since, and we are coming closer to our 4 year anniversary. Once I knew it would be a struggle to conceive, I knew I would not have kids before we were married for 4 years because of the comment I made. I truly believe the Lord wanted me to wake up, and know that HE is in control of my life. He is the one Who blesses us with children, He will give us children when He wants to. Infertility has been a wake up call for me, it has been the most horrible, emotional, tiring, and challenging thing that I have ever gone through, and we are not even at the end of our journey yet.

Some days are so hard for me, some days I think I cannot understand why. Why us, why after so long, when will it happen? Right now I am struggling with: What if Clomid does not work? I really do not know what I would do, I think my hope would start to falter. But I have a God who I know wants whats best for me, and I have a husband who has been my rock through all of this. So if Clomid does not work, I have to remember Who is actually making Clomid work. The Lord has control in all we do, I believe He makes things available to us as a way to overcome this horrible thing called infertility.

I believe people are not nearly aware enough about infertility, I know I wasn't before we were infertile. Through all of this I think we can reach a lot of people, and maybe people will feel more blessed than they ever have for the things they have. I know I have been counting my blessings for the things I DO have! I pray for infertile women so much, for strength, for hope, for peace and that one day we CAN overcome infertility!

Today I feel blessed to have a God who I can cast all my cares upon!