Our Little Blessing at 14 Weeks!!

Monday, September 6
Our Little Blessing at 14 weeks!

How far along? 14 Weeks, 1 day

Baby's size? Our baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. I think that is so cool!!

Gain? Gained 4 pounds so far.

Maternity clothes? Still the same as last week. Mostly just maternity bottoms, or the rubber band trick on some clothes. I cannot wait till my belly gets so big that I can finally wear some of my cute maternity shirts!

Stretch marks? None

Sleep? Sleep is ok, I feel like I have been getting up a lot to go pee!!

Foods I am loving? Still loving the hot main dishes more than desserts.

Foods I am hating? Still the same, I hate the foods I craved while I was sick. Like Chicken noodle soup, ravioli and a few more I cannot think of.

Best moment this week? Looking in the mirror and seeing I am starting to look pregnant!!

Movement? No movement yet, but my tummy has been getting harder! I cannot wait for the movement to start!

Symptoms? I have started to feel a little uncomfortable after I eat, especially if I eat too much. It's not a nauseous feeling, just a little upset to my stomach.

Gender? I cannot wait to find out!!

What I'm looking forward to? Hearing our baby's heartbeat again soon!! Also, I am looking forward to starting to buy things for our baby!!

Milestones: My belly starting to look like a little pregnant belly!!

Emotions: Dreaming of our little Blessing arriving into our world!!

Today I feel so blessed to be experiencing a pregnancy, each and every day I do not take it for granted. I remember how it felt to be waiting, some days I still cannot comprehend that I we are actually pregnant. I know how many of you are still trying, and heartbroken. I pray for you so often. Don't loose hope, our God is waiting for His perfect timing.

Thank You and 5 Years!

I want to thank you all for your kind congratulations on our pregnancy. We feel so blessed and very thankful! I know that hearing of a pregnancy is always hard when you are going through infertility, so I really appreciate all of your comments! Our God is an awesome God! !


Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary! We did not do anything special for our anniversary, but I think we both didn't even want too. We are still so thrilled about our pregnancy, that we we content with just being at home! We have been through so much in the 5 years that we were married. It wasn't always easy, especially with infertility in our marriage. I am so thankful that my wonderful hubby stuck with me through thick and thin!!

I would love to lift anyone up in prayer who is still waiting on there little blessing!!

Clomid Day 2

Today was the second day of my Clomid. I took it this morning again. I was talking to my hubby on the phone right when I was ready to take the pills, so we said a quick prayer together. It was so special.

So far today I am feeling great. No side affects. Here are some of the most common side affects of Clomid (Clomiphene Citrate).

Stomach upset, bloating, abdominal/pelvic fullness, flushing (hot flashes), breast tenderness, headache or dizziness.

I have not had one of those side affects! I feel really good. I remember last year when I was on lower doses of Clomid, I had major hot flashes. So now I have 2 days down, and 5 more to go. I am taking 4 pills each morning which are 50Mg each. We are praying that the 200MG is what we have needed all along!!!

Marriage and Infertility

My hubby and I have been married for almost 5 years. Never once did I think that we would have trouble trying to conceive. We really had it all planned out.

Get Married, Enjoy Life, Have a Baby...well let's rewind to Enjoy life, because that's were our plans stopped. We have not made it to the Have a Baby part. We have been trying for 3 1/2 years though, with no success. So how do you keep you marriage strong and healthy with such a big battle trying to overcome your life!? I ask myself that questions all the time, and I pray about that all the time. I need help from the Lord on that issue, I cannot handle our marriage and infertility on my own.

The first step for me was to realize that I need help, I need the Lord to give us both the help that we need. For years I was so focused on our infertility and how badly I wanted a baby, how badly I wanted to be a mother. I would see everyone else becoming a mother, and I would see so many little babies everywhere. It hurt me to the core each and every time. It was at the point where I was not being the wife that my hubby needed. It was all about me, all the time. I really did not see that until last year. So for 2 years that was our life. I get so emotional every time I think about it, because I hate what I have put my hubby through. He was so kind and caring, but I pushed him way too far for way too long.

We have since started to mend our hearts from all the heartache. The Lord has helped me in so many ways. All I did was pray. I saw things change right in front of my eyes, within days. I was so broken. I was so happy that I saw hope for happiness again. Not just daily grief over what I do not have, and there are constant reminders of that everywhere it just depends on how you look at them. I am so far from where I want to be, and I will never be perfect. I will always need the Lord's help.

When I am feeling so low and so sad. I try to remember other who are praying just to be healthy, or others who are praying just to have a chance at a pregnancy as well. I do not know if we will ever have a child of our own, but I hope and pray that the Lord will bless us in His time and in His way. As hard as infertility is, having the Lord on my side makes it so much easier.

Really, once we got our happiness back I felt like I have conquered the biggest battle of all.

I would love to hear about any of your Marriage and Infertility lessons.

Today I feel so blessed to have my Lord helping me through this journey of infertility.

Provera, Clomid and lots of Prayer!!

My Doctor called!!!

It was Thursday night, we were on the porch grilling out. The whole day I had been checking the phone anxiously awaiting a phone call from the Doctor. My wonderful hubby was in the house, and all of a sudden he brings my ringing phone out to me and it was the clinic's number!! We were both so excited. I was so happy that my hubby was in the house when my phone rang. I cannot believe I didn't have it right by me, but it worked out perfectly.

Here is the wrap up of my conversation with my Doctor:

He said my test results all came back great, and by great he means it's OK for me to start a cycle of Clomid!! My progesterone levels were only at 0.5, he said I was not ovulating at all with those levels. I knew that was so, in the back if my mind I just knew I was not ovulating. So that was not a shock to me. I try my best to face reality throughout our IF journey. It is so easy to get your hopes us every month to make you think that you are pregnant.

Here is what we will be doing next:

I am now starting to take Provera to get my cycle started, after I took a pregnancy test. It is very important to take a pregnancy test prior to starting Provera, mine came out negative so I started my Provera last night! Once my cycle starts I will be starting Clomid! I will be starting off our first month at 200MG of Clomid, exactly a year ago I was on my 2nd month of Clomid at 100MG. The highest I ever went was 150MG, which was May of 2009, and I had a slight rise in my progesterone with the 150MG. So I am REALLY curious what the 200MG will do for me!!! This would be my 4th round of Clomid in my lifetime.

You might be wondering why I am not doing an HSG. I talked to my Dr. about that when he called on Thursday. I was so glad that I did. He would recommend that we try the first month of 200MG of Clomid, and see how I react to that. If I get a good reaction to it, like my progesterone levels raising, then most likely my tubes are open and good. He said 90% of the time the HSG reveals good, open fallopian tubes. I was so happy that I asked him, and that he was honest with me about it. He is very direct and to the point, which I love!!

I will need to schedule blood work around CD 17-18 to check my progesterone levels to see if I ovulated!! I hope and pray that I will ovulate. It is so crazy to think that we are doing Clomid again, I am really excited to get started. I feel at peace about this. Which is the best feeling in the world.

Right now I only want to think about this month, this round of Clomid, not our future. I want to focus on today, and not wish my tomorrows away. I want to live in the moment, and be happy in the moment!! Too many times I have ruined today because of worry. God can take all my worries so that I do not have to deal with them, they weigh me down so much. So today my blessing is that God lifts my burdens from me, and takes my worries away. Too me that is a huge blessing!!

Has God lifted any of your burdens, or taken any of your worries away? I would love to hear about how God has helped you today!!

Our Infertility Consultation Recap

I am happy to report that our consultation went very well yesterday. I was so nervous, and I think I was just so excited that we are actually, finally seeing a specialist! Its been 3 and a half years, and it felt so good to see a Doctor that is very confident, very professional, very caring and very smart. I was so thrilled with our Doctor.

First of all we met with our Doctor in his office, not an exam room! I was lovin' that. It felt so nice to just talk to him and not feel stressed with being in an exam room. We were just sitting back and sharing as much information with him as we could. He was able to put together more pieces to our IF puzzle, so that he could treat us better!

I asked him if he would say I have PCOS. He said PCOS has such a broad range of symptoms that a lot of people fall into the PCOS category, so he said he would call my problem"traumatic anovulation." Basically I do not ovulate, not even with the couple of rounds of Clomid that I took a year ago. So he wants to do some blood work to see if there is something in the way of the Clomid not working. After I get the results from the blood work, we will need to have made our decision if we want to start Clomid this cycle. I have a very irregular cycle, so I will need to take Provera to start my cycle ASAP. He said he doesn't like to have a woman go longer than 2 months without a cycle, because the uterine lining will build up too much. I am right around the 2 month mark, so it could work our perfectly. I am going in tomorrow for my blood work, with the results coming next week. If everything comes back "good" we will probably take Provera to start my cycle, then take Clomid! He wants to give me stronger doses of Clomid, the strongest I took last time was 150mg, he wants to try 200-250mg.

Then...

If Clomid would not work for us, we would look into Fertility shots. Which will be more expensive and more invasive, also there is a bigger chance of multiples with the shots. I was so impressed with how the Dr. was stressing that they do not take that lightly. They want to try every other option before they will try the shots on us, due to the risk of multiples. If we get to this point, we will need to think and pray about when we would want to start the shots. I am sure we would wait a while after the Clomid to start the shots. The Dr. also wants me to get an HSG done. I would like to get that done even before we start the Clomid. I would love to hear from anyone who has had an HSG done. Did you do it before Clomid, or did you wait until before a more invasive form of treatment?

After we went over all of that. He asked us if hubby had ever been checked, and he never was. So we were able to get that done right away, and the Dr. called tonight with the results!! I was so shocked that he called already, he told me that he will call on Friday. So I was super excited when hubby picked up that call!! I think that my hubby was surprised as well, after the Dr. told hubby the results hubby told the Dr. that I would like to talk to him. I thought that was so sweet of my hubby to do that, he knows how important this all is to me. So I took the phone, nervous with anticipation, the Dr. said the results were back and hubby is 100% perfect!! I was thrilled!! I always felt that he was, but was never sure, so now we are sure!! The Dr. was so nice, he asked me if I had done my blood work yet, and I told him tomorrow that will be done, he said that's great!! I was so thrilled that he asked about that, I really felt that he cared and wanted to get this process going. I was so excited about how quickly he gets things done, yet at the same time he told us not to feel pressured into anything they suggest. They just want to give us all of our options, and then they let us go from there, with no pressure!!

Also, at the appointment he did an ultrasound on me to check my cysts on my ovaries (again, I was so surprised how quickly he got things done). My right ovary has more cysts than my left. He was glad to see the cysts, because that reaffirmed him that I was not ovulating. He said that cysts are caused by anovulation, each month you do not ovulate, those eggs form cysts on your ovary. Then once you start to ovulate the cysts will disappear. I was so impressed with how much I learned from him in such a little amount of time.

So...

My main problem is that I do not ovulate.

Hubby checked out perfectly

Cannot wait to find out the results from my bloodworm

Our next step will be Clomid!!

I would really appreciate your prayers. Prayers specifically for a clear mind to make the right decisions, and for good blood work levels, and of course for the Clomid to work!!

I feel so blessed to have found a Doctor that we both liked and felt really comfortable with.

Second Trip to Indiana and an Infertility Update

On Thursday I made the trek out to Indiana to see the Doctor that I had visited before, you can read about that here. My mom and another sweet girl who is struggling with infertility came along with me. We had 10:30 appointments, so we left at 5:00am, which was a lot better that last time when we left at 4:00am. We had wonderful weather and a very smooth trip, the roads never seemed busy which I loved since I drove.

The Doctor told me that the position of my uterus looks perfect! I was thrilled. I was so happy. Overjoyed! I then asked him about how he could open up my tubes on my last visit, because it just did not make sense to me how he can actually open up my tubes without much to it. So he said that the position that my uterus had been in was blocking or twisting my tubes so that nothing could pass through. What he meant was that when he corrected the position of my uterus, it then put my tubes in the correct place. But now he is not able to tell if my tubes are blocked, I would have to get that checked on my own. I had misunderstood him when he explained that to me during the first visit.

He also said that I do not need to make another appointment to see him, and he thinks I should be pregnant by June or July. I am trying to have faith, but at the same time I am not getting my hopes up. Because I know that is just a possibility. Not a guarantee. I am praying, I am hoping and I am keeping my faith in the Lord. He will be the ultimate decision maker for when we conceive.

We have our IF consultation on April 7th at a large fertility center about an hour from us. I am getting very anxious for that appointment. We are just going to see what they have to say, and to see what our options are. We will then pray about what our next step should be. Then if we are not pregnant by July or so, then we will probably go back in and start some type of treatment. That could all change if by then we feel the Lord is leading us in another direction. We would really appreciate your prayers as we have a lot of decisions coming our way.

I am ready to be a mommy, but I know that the Lord has a plan for me and my hubby's life. That gives me a peace that I cannot explain.

Today I feel blessed that the Lord cares about my life, and that He has a plan for my life which I know will be worth all this heartache that I have gone through.

Any Kids?

It is a given when you run into someone that you have not seen in a while. You start by saying Hello, and make small talk, then before you know it you've been hit. Hit by the question.

"Do you have kids?"

or

"Any kids yet?"

Each and every time I get asked that question I have a very hard time answering it. My usual answer is...

"No, but it's not that we do not want any."

Most of the time people will be satisfied with my answer, and maybe, just maybe that will be enough for them to understand our situation, at least a little bit so that we can get off that subject. I ask myself why is it so hard for me to answer that question, and why do I want to take off running for my life when I hear those words??!!

I used to get angry at people when they would present me with that question. Then I would vaguely remember myself asking some "old friends" that same question, which was of course before we were TTC. Since then, I never ask people that question, because I have no idea if they are going through the same situation and I know how hard that question is for me to answer. Now instead of getting angry, I think of the blessing we are waiting on, I think of that day when I can say, "Yes, we have been blessed with a miracle!!!"

I try to think of ways that I could be hurting someone with my words without me ever realizing it. I pray that I will watch my tongue, and give words of encouragement and praise to everyone that I possibly can. That is not an easy task to complete, there are many days that I should not even be around people, let alone say something nice. But I will strive to do better with this each day, because I know how some one's kind words can give me just that push I need to keep going. I also know that the Lord can help me with this in ways that I could have never imagined.

Today I feel so blessed to have the voice to answer people when they hit me with "that" question.

How do you answer "the question"?

More updates on my Kitchen project very soon!!

Praying our way through Infertility

I am participating in Kelly's show us your life. This week it is about your ministry.

My husband and I have been trying to have our own little miracle for over 3 years now. We have hope that the Lord will bless us with a child. I started my blog almost 1 year ago, I needed to get out a lot of emotions that come with infertility. I also had been reading a lot of women's infertility blogs before I started a blog of my own, and it was a great encouragement for me to realize that I am not the only woman who is going through this journey. So many emotions come with infertility, and it is only normal, but not every one can relate to those emotions unless you have experienced infertility.

I have just recently realized that I cannot handle this on my own, I always tried to control our infertility my way. I was very wrong. I need the Lord's help. Prayer is my lifeline through our journey. I would love to lift you up in prayer as well!! If you are going through infertility as well, my advice to you would be, "Always know that the Lord is listening to your prayers, and always let Him carry your burdens." My burden of infertility was weighing me down to a point where it was affecting every aspect of my life in ways that I am not proud of, but the Lord has been right by my side helping me find myself again. I know that He can do the same for you!!!

Please let me know if you are struggling. It may be from infertility, or it may not. I would love to add you to my prayer list!

I feel blessed to have a direct line to our Lord. It is through Prayer.

The Power of Prayer

I cannot believe that it has been 2 weeks since my visit to Indiana. I have been trying to take it easy, and trying not to do to much physical labor. Right now I feel good, I feel like my uterus has stayed. It still seems to be high, at least higher than it was! I have seen a major difference in my cycle already. I have already seen things that reminded me of how my cycle was before all my "issues" started, and it feels so good!

I have been so amazed at how the Lord has been working in my life. I was really struggling with so many things in my life, it seemed I could never get over some things and just be happy. He has showed me how to be happy again. As I type this, I have tears of joy. It all started with a simple prayer, a prayer of surrender and and prayer of pleading. The Lord has drawn me closer to Him in so many ways. I feel like prayer is our direct line to God, and I must admit, I was not using that line nearly as often as I should have been. Not only have I realized that prayer works in my life, but it can also work in your life. The Lord hears my prayers for you! I love praying for you, I love giving it to God. It is such a freeing thing to do. What really amazes me is how my prayers have been answered right in front of my eyes. They might not seem like huge requests, but those little requests that He answered have helped with healing in my life!! Also, those little answers to prayer remind me of how much He does care. I have often doubted that the Lord cares for me, as I have been dealing with infertility and all that it has affected in my life.


Everyone has struggles they go through, and many days I think mine are the biggest of all. I have realized my struggles are very minor. I have all bodily functions, I have a warm bed, I have a car, I have a job, I have not lost any children, I have a great hubby, I had safety today, I have a closet full of clothes, I have food in my fridge, I have loving parents, I have vacations to come, I can move around without pain, I have hair, I have the possibility of having children, I have warm shoes, I have bubble bath to put in my warm bath water, I have church clothes, I have so much! The list could go on and on. Many of the things that I have mentioned not everybody has been blessed with. It just breaks my heart. I've seen people that are suffering so much and they have more faith and more gratefulness than I do. That is a huge wake up call for me. There is so much more to my life than just thinking of what I do not have. Look at all I have! How could I not be satisfied. I feel really ashamed. What have people who are really struggling been thinking of me. I just hope and pray that I can have a positive impact on people rather than a negative and ungrateful one. I would love your prayers as I continue to try and do so.

As I have always known in the back of my mind that prayer does work, I have just recently been assured of that. I would love to lift you up in prayer. Please contact me with any prayer requests that you have. Anyone who needs prayer please let me know. If your having a bad day, if you are struggling with something in your life that you cannot seem to get past, or if you just want me to pray for you with no reason at all I would love to lift you up in prayer. Not just today but anyday to come. If you have a public request you can leave it in the comments then I will also post it onto my sidebar for others to see and pray for as well, or if you have a private request you can e-mail me at loriweaver86@yahoo.com.